Why do you deserve to be the winner?

You have won a scholarship!!

Being selected as the winner of a scholarship is a sweet thing indeed, but what does it take to be selected above all other applicants?  For the last few years, prior to actually teaching my students how to start writing their personal statement, I have them write two paragraphs about why they believe that they are the most deserving.  My instructions state very clearly what I don't want.

I don't want to hear that:

1.  You are a hard worker.

2.  You want to make your parents proud of you.

3.  You want to be a good example to your children, siblings or younger relatives.

4.  It was very difficult to learn English.

5.  You are the first in the family to go to college.

6.  You need the money.

Now, don't misunderstand.  The above reasons are very important.  The truth of the matter is that in colleges such as the College of the Desert, the student population is 60++ Hispanic and that is what they all say when they write a personal essay.

You want to write about your uniqueness.  Why should the judges select you instead of another candidate?  You need to write with heart if you want the reader to feel in his heart that you are the most deserving.  Starting with the visual, you want to WOW the reader.  Having a high GPA is wonderful, but not enough.  Having great letters or recommendation is great, but not enough.  Writing a good essay is not enough -- you must give the content and how you write it a great deal of thought.  Remember it is the whole "enchilada" that counts.  Good is not enough.  FABULOUS is  should be your goal.